Sea Witch
by Scarlet Lupin
Summary: That one time Jack and his crew met the Master Of Death when she saved them from sinking to the bottom of the ocean! (Features Fem! Harry Potter and of course Captain Jack Sparrow.)


The crew all stood in various states of weary resignation, the ship had a huge hole in it and was sinking fast and there was their captain, performing some strange dance while rubbing a bead necklace and hopping on one foot. Everyone was used to Jack's strangeness by now and it usually all worked out in the end so now they were just waiting for something to happen.

As if that thought had been the trigger, there was a distinctly ominous rumble of thunder and a thick bank of fog started to roll in. Accompanying the fog was an eerie high pitched shrieking sound, the stolen ship was quickly immersed in the thick fog and the sound appeared to be coming from everywhere now. A brief flicker of red fabric whispered past and the crew all gathered to watch as a small sleek ship with deep crimson sails glided closer, the ship was dead silent which was more than a little eerie as most ships creaked at least a little.

"Captain Jack Sparrow."

Everyone gaped as the fog lifted enough to see only a single figure on the ship, no crew in sight. The figure stepped closer and they could now make out it was a woman, she had long thick raven curls held back by a bright red bandana with burnt gold coloured tassels around the edges, the rest of her clothes where simple pirate garb although the plain shirt and pants combo was embellished with a knotted sarong style skirt, it was short enough not to hider movement but still add a bit more of a feminine twist to her clothing. The skirt was also red and gold, seemingly to match the gleaming sword at her side.

The woman seemed to asses their predicament and then said "well? What are you waiting for? Get your sorry asses on my ship, before you all sink to the bottom of the ocean."

Not needing to be told twice, the crew jumped into action. Quickly grabbing possessions and rations and anything else they could carry, before boarding the boat. As soon as all the things were secured below deck, the crew gathered in small groups to watch the drama unfold between the two captains.

"Harriet my dear it's wonderful to see you again."

The female captain scowled and stomped forwards looked royally pissed off, as she reached him her hand raised as though to slap him, however at the last second she made a grab for his neck and yanked him into a swift kiss. "I missed you Jack, and you know for a fact I prefer Harry."

Flashing that cocky smirk that had most people wanting to hit him Jack replied "who wouldn't miss me, I am splendiferfull!"

"I am fairly sure that isn't a word Jack, and I can think of at least ten just off the top of my head, not including half my crew."

"Oh yeah where are your crew?"

Facing the member of Jack's crew who had spoken she noted the funny eye patch he was wearing before she said "eh they were enjoying themselves too much messing with some of the landlocked folks, so I just brought Paddy and Mort, the rest will catch up when they feel like it."

"How do you expect them to catch up to you without a ship? Let alone know where you are? And for that matter how did you sail out here without a crew?"

A very familiar cocky grin made its way onto her face as she replied to the shortest member of the crew "I am amazalous that's how and they just will." Turning on the heel of her scuffed black leather boots she made her way up to the poop deck to take command of the currently steering its-self main wheel.

"By the sea Jack, she's just like you!"

"On the contrary Wintel..."

"...Pintel." The crew member corrected with fond exasperation.

Jack continued without acknowledging the correction "I am just like her."

"You can't be telling me you learned from her?"

Smirking Jack just tilted his head and said "why not?"

"Well for starters she has got to be at least half your age!"

"Actually I have no idea how old she is, but she hasn't aged a day since I last saw her ten years ago."

"What! How?"

"Well, I presume some kind of curse."

"Haven't you asked her?"

Before Jack could reply a startled scream crew everyone's attention, standing in the middle of the main deck Gibbs was clutching his flask to his chest as he stared at the bright crimson sails that had just been raised. Or more specifically the bold black symbol emblazoned across the tatty sails, a circle inside a triangle all bisected by a line. "The Sea Witch!"

"I thought that ship was just a myth!"

Snorting Harry turned and said "The Sea Witch is no myth, just like the stories about her are more than just stories."

"What stories?"

"They say those who run afoul of the Sea Witch don't have long left in this world, those who see the monstrous captain are said to go insane before dying. Many a ship has sailed these seas and been swallowed by the swells after reporting seeing these cursed red sails!"

"Monstrous is a little harsh! I didn't think I looked that bad..."

"You're the fabled captain of The Sea Witch?"

"It would seem so, wouldn't it? Seeing as I'm the captain of this ship, and this ship is The Sea Witch."

"She can't be! I heard The sea witch's captain was a fearsome pirate, that was at least 8ft tall and nearly half as wide, one that left lesser men gibbering in fear. This slip of a girl can't be more than a year past her majority and probably hasn't even held this ship as long as that."

A quiet hissing was all that preceded the girlish scream, facing the dark-skinned pirate who spoke ill of the woman, the crew found the man wrapped in the coils of a huge black skinned snake. "Morty! Bad highly venomous death snake, no killing Jacks crew! You know how hard it is for him to get people to join at the best of times, so no making it even harder for him."

"Hey!"

"Sorry Jack but it's true."

The snake released one long drawn out hiss before retreating back into the rigging.

The now released man sighed and then keeled over in a dead faint. There was a long silence and Jack's crew all milled around, not really sure how to deal with this development.

The awkwardness was once again interrupted by an animal, but this one far more welcome. The huge black dog bounced across the deck looking for all intents and purposes like an extremely excited puppy, only much larger.

"Padfoot no! Don't you dare, you mangey ass..." The rest of that sentence was lost as the huge black dog made contact with the female captain, knocking her to the ground in the process.

Several minutes later with a mighty heave, the dog was dumped on his ass as the captain staggered to her feet, shooting the dog a dirty look as she did. Shoving a face full of curls out of the way she straightened her bandana and grabbed hold of the main wheel again, completely ignoring the whining dog.

For several hours they sailed in relative calm before there was a loud 'CRACK' sound echoed a fraction of a second later by another and a pair of red-haired twins appeared in the middle of the deck. Pausing to high-five each other they immediately scrambled up the rigging and vanished into the organised mess of ropes and canvas that concealed much of the main mast.

"Um, Jack how did those fellows just appear out of nowhere like that?"

"I 'aven't the slightest idea."

"Oh, right then..."

A moment later there was another, almost deafening in volume this time, 'CRACK' sound and then another six people stood on deck.

"Jaaaaaaaack?"

"Still no idea mate must be a quirk of the crew."

"Right."

Walking away from the slightly faint looking man Jack made his way over to the main wheel and slinging an arm around 'Harry's' neck said "so Harry my dear, fancy telling this old sailor just how your crew can appear all mysterious like where ever they feel like?"

Smirking she replied "well I could but I doubt you would be able to replicate it..."

"No no I want to try!"

"Well, they're dead, so you might find it hard to replicate. Their souls have ties to the ship so they can come and go as they please without losing it and the reason they can teleport is because they were magical before they died."

"Ah, well I don't really fancy myself dead yet but I would say I'm downright magical in bed, hmmm wouldn't you agree?"

There was a moment of dead silence then Harry burst out laughing, body shaking, rib-cracking laughter. The female captain barely managed to wheeze out "...You...magical...in bed...no way..." between bouts of cackles.

Finally managing to pull herself together, wiping tears from emerald eyes and taking slow deep breaths, she was just about back to normal when Jack exclaimed in a mock hurt tone "well that was mean." Which set the witch off again, once more bent double with giggles.


End file.
